Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for March 27, 2019

What a breakthrough! Everyone in Milford can now rest easy knowing that Molly Hatcher is skating as well as playing softball.

P1, I’m still wondering about Tiki Jansen’s slow sister.

P2, Dude, you’re one sloppy eater. Wipe your face!

P3, And we care because?

P1 How am I supposed to hold this fork?? Did someone take a bite out of skin head’s burger??

In all reality , P 1 Hey everybody Walk like an Egyptian , shut up and tell us more about your little sister you moron.

P1: “Even though basketball season just ended, I’m staying in condition. Watch me dribble this hamburger!”

Here come the slow drip, drip, drip of exciting “reveals.” Look out DW, clone DW has eyes for your girlfriend!

I wonder if the Milford Police are familiar with synchronicity?

P 3 between the girl’s name and the shortened use of the demonstrative pronoun, we have hard evidence that MIlford is just south of the Manson – Nixon line. Now, which of those states have a Goshen town and utilize playdowns in the state series? Answer that, and I can die a happy man!

I guess my snarking on synchronized swimming singles a couple of weeks ago wasn’t that far off, in all reality

Still doesn’t explain why four girls had family stuff or how the scrimmage went.

Ah, the universal hand signal for skating.

And I feel sorry for the kid across from him. Based on his look he must be blind and he cannot locate the food on his tray. He’s going to spend the whole afternoon starving.

Alt Script: 1- Look how long I can hold my hand over this salt shaker. 2- Some people do that over an open flame but I think doing it over a salt shaker if harder, and braver! 3- So now what you got to say about my haircut…punk!?

Synchronized skating…I was close, I thought they were getting Zamboni driving lessons..

…I understand they are allowing cart-path only at Milford CC…

So far, I’ve managed to learn that the baseball team isn’t winning any state championship this year.

Roller or Ice???

P 2.5: “….that was the main attraction? I wanna’ party with you, dude…”

Little Sister………

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Di2ThVZeGV4

P1: Blue Light Special on black t-shirts at the Milford KMart.