New Adventures of Queen Victoria by Pab Sungenis for March 12, 2019

So, no driver’s license.

No golden worker ants?

E are not amused!

Another quote from Bullwinkle?

That reminds me, I’m on my last pair of contacts.

All the wisdom of the sea in a grain of sand, just look around, look around…

I Wandered Lonely as a Clod

Anonymous, with apologies to William Wordsworthfrom Mad Magazine, issue #43 in 1958)

I wandered lonely as a clod,

Just picking up old rags and bottles,

When onward on my way I plod,

I saw a host of axolotls;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

A sight to make a man’s blood freeze.

Some had handles, some were plain;

They came in blue, red pink, and green.

A few were orange in the main;

The damnedest sight I’ve ever seen.

The females gave a sprightly glance;

The male ones all wore knee-length pants.

Now oft, when on the couch I lie,

The doctor asks me what I see.

They flash upon my inward eye

And make me laugh in fiendish glee.

I find my solace then in bottles,

And I forget them axolotls.

Oh, Magoo, you’ve done it again!