Savage Chickens by Doug Savage for April 10, 2019
April 09, 2019
April 11, 2019
Transcript:
How to survive a shark attack. Keep your eye on the shark and move slowly toward safety. Don't make any sudden movements... Such as splashing, or jazz hands. If the shark comes at you, punch it in the gills, snout, or eyes. You won't hurt the shark, but it will be surprised by your audacity. If all else fails, try to confuse it with logical paradoxes. Chicken: This statement is false.
Ida No over 5 years ago
Alternatively, put on a bib from a Chinese restaurant, and stalk it with a knife, bowl, and a thermos of hot water.
!!ǝlɐ⅁ over 5 years ago
If the shark doesn’t fall for the logical paradox game, ask it simply what the difference is between a raven and a writing desk. It should then turn over and float silently away.
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 5 years ago
So, making friends is not an option. Dang it.. that worked for my neighbor’s biting dog. And his wife. lol, lmao, etc..
Indianapolis Smith over 5 years ago
If you dress like a lawyer they leave you alone. Professional courtesy.
ralph.barone over 5 years ago
Ah… The Captain Kirk defense.
marilynnbyerly over 5 years ago
Or scream, “Flipper,” really, really loud.
pcolli over 5 years ago
Just sing “Baby Shark” to it to scare it away.
Nobody_Important over 5 years ago
Silly me – all this time I was simply staying out of the ocean!