Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for May 02, 2019

No, caller, the person you called is Dad. Who are YOU?

Tony asked, about 5 hours ago

Who is this?

Someone claiming to be a close relative in peril.

Knowing Elliot, that one sounds plausible. Very.

Of course, Peter is joking….

but every now and then after I say “hello” to a caller, he or she says (rudely, I think) “Who is this?”

In that case, I like to say something like “Is this a guessing game? I can’t see you.”

Or maybe “How do I know? You haven’t told me yet.”

Ok son, before I bring your cleats by, let’s discuss the length of our lawn. The grass is getting pretty tall, you know.

Who is who? Who are you?

There’s so many scam calls out there, don’t fall for it Peter.

I think he’s already dead from the neck up.

This has to be a wrong number, my son’s too responsible to do something like that.

Next line: “What sort of flowers do you want at your funeral, son?”