Close to Home by John McPherson for June 25, 2019

All of a sudden, the Masters was a par 36 course…or it could have been if Ray could make 2-foot putts reliably.

I’m not a golfer but I would bet that is not in the rule book. It would probably result in a few fist fights on the golf course.

Of course, Ray isn’t in the PGA, and is therefore subject to USGA rules. And those guys are jerks.

As it stands right now Tiger Woods could use a few acts of God himself if he even wants to get remotely close to tying Jack Nicklaus’ record of 18 career major victories.

If he trained that falcon right the ball would drop right into the hole.

Would that be a birdie?

So, that’s were to term “eagle” come from.

Finding new playing partners every week must be a real treat.

Who else do we know that cheats at golf?

looks like an EAGLE to me….

Wouldn’t the little leather strap around the bird’s ankle be a give-away?

Bleeb looks disgusted. He doesn’t like cheaters!

Is Bleep squashed underneath the ball?

God and St. Peter are playing golf. God is at the tee and takes a mighty swing. The ball flies straight up 1000 feet. A passing sparrow (African I think) grabs the ball aflies toward a water hazard. An eagle spots the sparrow (it might have been European) and dives on it. The frightened sparrow drops the ball and it lands 2 feet from the cup. A gopher (stunned by an explosion set off by a lunatic groundskeeper) pushes the ball and rolls into the cup. Hole in one! St. Peter turns to God and asks “Are you going to f*&$ around or are we going to play golf?”

9.6 Ball Lifted or Moved by Outside InfluenceIf it is known or virtually certain that an outside influence lifted or moved your ball there is no penalty. The ball must be replaced on its original spot (which if not known must be estimated). – USGA 2019 Rules and Interpretations