Close to Home by John McPherson for July 23, 2019

Put it on right, or they’ll float head down.

That’s going to clog the pool filter…

It was invented by some guy named Bob.

They are all named “Bob”, or “Barb.”

The power washing afterwards is a bit painful.

Do not use in the ocean without a tether.

With sharks and flesh eating bacteria I’ll stick to the bathtub.

Well that sounds like a pretty good idea. If it weren’t for the whole pulling off the skin when you remove it I am thinking it could be the next big beach business. Custom foam floats.

The unfoamed head shifts the center of gravity and they bob around head down.

Might replace cement shoes with the mob. Foam shoes! Think about it.

The old water ski float belts would shift down after somebody fell. They had to keep struggling or only their rear end would be sticking out of the water. It made it hard to breathe unless you were really talented.

Then you hear, “Mama, I gotta pee”.