Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for October 27, 2019
October 26, 2019
October 28, 2019
Transcript:
deleted birds note to birdwatchers, the following birds are no longer recognized by the audubon society. please adjust your life list accordingly. thank you. eastern pottymouthed snark assails bird-watchers with crude insults & profanity. call - "get a life you what're you lookin' at take your binoculars and." great downy oftmolt difficult to actually see as it's surrounded by a suffocating cloud of feathers. call - "cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough." flightless grouse plods up and down the eastern u.s. whining the whole damn time. call - "ow ow ow ow my feet hurt my feet hurt ow ow ow ow." unmitigated gull this is one show-offy little creep. call - "look at this plumage! great, huh? you guys from national geographic? how about a picture? you wanna see my mating dance?" commonplace dullard no distinguishing marks of any kind, really. hangs around with other, cooler birds who wish it wouldn't call - "hey wait up wait up c'mon guys wait up."
well-i-never about 5 years ago
These are spectacular – or a spectacle. But, off my life-list they go.
DCBakerEsq about 5 years ago
Annoying Loon. Native to Norway and known for its spectacular plumage, spends most of its time repeating portions of Monty Python skits and then exclaiming “You’re a loon.”
WCraft Premium Member about 5 years ago
Amazing how many Pottymouth Snarks made it big in Hollywood!
Bob. about 5 years ago
We also have the Hairy Chested Nut-scratcher.
Sisyphos about 5 years ago
“Deleted Birds”?! But I am a Commonplace Dullard!
gbars70 about 5 years ago
Fell bad for the Commonplace Dullard (been there, done that) and the Flightless Grouse; who should be put out of its aching feet misery.