Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 06, 2021
Transcript:
early catalog alert ineffables winter 2000 features objects so vague & insub-stantial they elude precise descrip-tion. tends towards wind-chimey spirituality. does your husband want a dashboard druid serenity shrine? does your wife need a tibetan healing scrunchie? if so we pity you. condimentia! the source for every relish, spread & sauce necessary to create refrigerator gridlock. vast selection of lethally hot pepper sauces with undignified names ("wild ed's hellfire-spittin' bowel rocket sauce"). offers the mayonnaise-of-the-month club for the blander palate. powergrab 2000 do you have a fidgety executive on your list who'd just love a cell-phone that also stores addresses, schedules meetings, checks stocks, tallies golf scores, measures body fat & cholesterol levels, exchanges foreign currency, locates things by geosynchronous satellite, opens cans & moves cheese? look on page 12. stuff 'n' things super 900 page catalog 2000 gifts so useless that once actually given they cease to be, like some un-stable isotope. lawn ornaments, bar knicknacks, mugs & t-shirts with banalities printed on them, things shapes like cats, novelty oven mitts, etc. in short, the only catalog you'll need.
PoodleGroomer over 3 years ago
I need the back retrofit kit for my phone to wind my grandfather clock.
CamelScalpers? Premium Member over 3 years ago
To think he was JOKING about the cell phone… Little did we know back then.
k8zhd over 3 years ago
This is another example of Thompson’s wonderfully absurd sense of humor!
smorbie the great and beautiful over 3 years ago
Stuff and Thangs, Rick’s (walking dead) favorite store
Sisyphos over 3 years ago
Love the name Condimentia. In fact, all of Richard’s “catalogues” seem too real to be mere cartoon creations!