Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for September 14, 2019

Your face will probably heal after a month or two.

Omelete-face Calvin… that is something we so don’t want to see.

Ah, back when a Buick was still “big as a Buick.” Sadly the meaning of that phrase is lost now.

Omelet-face. With bits of green and red, plus mushroomy lumps.

Probably more of a pizza face.

Though he didn’t know it at the time, Moe’s studying how to become president.

One day you will be in 3rd grade, Moe will still be in 1st grade. You will get the last laugh. Until then go to the teacher and squeal.

It was a nice thought anyway, Calvin.

Not your daddy’s Buick, is he?

If I recall this series correctly, the problem solves itself.

Interestingly enough I had exactly this problem when I was in school. The school bully. No one liked him. Biggest kid in class. Regularly picked on me. My mom suggested I try to turn him into a friend. So one day I invited him to join me in building a project for science class. He accepted. His bullying stopped… for everyone, and he turned out to be a good friend. Come to find out he was back-lashing at people making fun of him for being so big. He was bullying in retaliation for being bullied. All he needed was someone to show an ounce of caring.

Unfortunately that’s not always the case. There are too many people out there who are just plain self-centered, selfish and mean— and have been taught by their equally selfish and mean parents to be so. There is little in the way of solution for such people short of just wiping them off the face of the earth… or waiting for them to hopefully outgrow it (but they most likely will not).

And thus the answer to why the World is in the shape it’s in. Too many selfish and mean people. Just that simple.

Moe will soon tire of the truck and leave it somewhere on the playground. If Calvin wants it back he should discreetly wait and see.

Yeah, talking to Bullies always works, NOT!

Calvin’s comment about being built like a Buick made me remember in the late 80’s I was in Columbus,Ohio on Leave with a Navy friend of mine and going down a street when He suddenly went out of our lane with no warning. Then an Elderly Lady all dressed up went right past us in an Old Sedan. I asked PC what Happened. He calmly looked at Me and said " Nothin’, He had Learned a Long Time Ago to Never Challenge an Old Lady Driving an Old Car in Traffic,Especially if She is Dressed Up and the Car is a Hudson ! " " She Will Show No Mercy as She is On a Mission." I think PC was Right.

I very clearly remember a personal experience in elementary school when I first realized that there are people in this world, even kids – not just grownups, who will seriously hurt others if given the opportunity. Not just knuckle bumps and bruises, but serious harm, just for the mean of it. It was an eye opener.

Why not pray? Prayer solves all problems, right?

Ooh, then we could cancel all laws and live happily ever. However, consider this Plan-B, since you live in Wisconsin, wait till a 20-below windy night, borrow pop’s adjustable wrench, dress very warmly, sneak over to his house when everyone is asleep, find the natural gas meter outdoors and turn that little valve till the numbers stop changing. Don’t wait too long, we’ve experienced some strange weather lately so someone, probably the electric company, speeded up the effects of global heating.

Or you could go tell the teacher…

I started to laugh after the last panel but then I thought “bullying isn’t funny” and stopped laughing.

At times you should stop thinking and start action. The result may mostly surprise you.

Nothing can be negotiated unless first you can compel the negotiation.