Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for February 16, 2023

Bud and Stacy might as well give up and take the padlock off of their garbage can and learn to live with the noise and the mess which will, at least, be better than the nightly raccoon follies.

Shut the curtains.

The raccoons have a Bud and Stacey problem.

Strange how the problem always takes care of itself after “Animal Planet” is turned off.

Part of the new GEICO commercial

Sic Scooter on em.

I had that problem once a long while back. 3 of the cutest baby raccoons, stood on their hind legs with their front feet on the glass, looking into the bedroom. The cats were not impressed.

Maybe they’re just trying to tell Bud and Stacy some funny varmint jokes. You know, Racoonteurs…

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Call the animal warden and shut the curtains! Oy

Good morning Balladeers.

Any time raccoons show up regularly, you have a raccoon problem. I had one who kept getting into the house despite a magnetically locked cat flap. I set up motion-triggered cameras to figure out how he was doing it. He had figured out that all you had to do to defeat the “lock” was to pull on the door instead of push. It’s a sad day when raccoons are smarter than cat door designers.

I did use technology to defeat him. I set a vacuum cleaner by the cat flap and plugged it into a remote controlled switch. When I heard him in the kitchen, I shouted and pushed the button. It came on just as he was exiting through the flap. He never came back.

Nothing that a shotgun won’t cure.

What problem? All I see are four very talented, funny, and eager-to-please trash pandas.

I’ve stopped composting and putting out things for the squirrels because the dang raccoons would come, make a mess, and destroy the bird feeders.

Time for a good old BS racoon hunt! Come on, Scooter, lets go get ‘em.———Scooter?———SCOOTER!!! Where the heck are you? (Racoon hidin’)

Close the drapes. What you can’t see won’t bother you.

A .22 rifle with a suppressor. No problems.

Bud and Stacy need to draw their curtains.