Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for July 17, 2023

Unfortunately, Martin works for an orange growers co-op.

does he manage a funeral house?

You’ll know he nailed it when you hear the audience gagging.

Go forth with a smile — be chatty, be bold

otherwise, all of us here will starve in the cold.

Martin, remember that sales rhymes with whales. and go from there.

Martin has worked on being the spitting image of Edgar Allen – and we wish that habit would be never more when he recites his work…

Thought that was Nixon at first :)

Martin takes his inspiration from Burma-Shave.

Is that a sprig of lilac in his boutonniere?

Poetic? Pathetic? Pretty close.

Of course, this calls for a Limerick:

There once was a fella named Martin,

who prepared for a meeting he’s startin’.

He’d regale them with tales, but instead only gales,

from those Tacos (I mean Martin’s fartin’…)

…

In his mind, old Martin’s a poet.

His words, they flow, doncha know it!

About his Haiku, the Staff, they go “Phew!”

And his Limericks? As bad as ChessPirate… ☺

Stop & smell the roses?

What’s this? A fragrant bunch of posies?

Violets perhaps….

Good morning Balladeers!

Um…. Lessee now…

There was a young salesman from Bruin,

every sale he attempted led to ruin.

’Twas too difficult for customers to bear,

him showing up in company underwear.

The boss said, “Around you should stop ska-roo-in’!”

(Sorry – I never know where these things will wind up when first starting.)

The final days at Acme Buggy Whip become increasingly desperate.

So sales will bloom, and profits will zoom.

“Before you go out there to sell, sell, sell, remember that if I can buy that boat, life will be much easier for you.”

I fear that Martin and his job may be partin’.

Ajax SeedCorp opts to put the fear of Drought into the sales staff:

Lungworts are blue,

Bleeding Hearts are red.

Get off your fat Asters

or we’ll make more deadheads, you worthless corpse flowers!