Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for May 30, 2024

you had a sponge for breakfast, Mr Ted?

Ted ponders why he was described as an old geyser

Actually, it would seem as if Ted is no longer retaining water.

I don’t think you can relieve your self in public like that.

Looks like the Acupuncture cured that water retention, Ted

That’s why you should never pick at scabs.

This is a new l’eau for Ted.

{"Wow! That Blood Thinner really works!"}

Ted, you’ve sprung a leak.

Medic!

Good morning Balladeers!

Best Ted makes himself useful and goes out in the garden, Martha’s petunias could do with a bit of water. Waste not want not..

" How are things going, Ted?"

" Just swell."

My problem is blood, not that I retain it — I lose it.

Ted finds some relief in his frequent Milk of Magnesia-induced bouts of explosive diarrhea for his tendency to retain water.

This could be the start of a new Ballard Street Tourist Attraction. A miniature version of Old Faithful.

He’s a geyser geezer.

Ted is the real deal when it comes to spoon-bending and telepathic water dowsing.

oh, that ted. always spouting off…

Stop thinking about it and plug that spout! You can’t retain water when you are leaking Ted.