Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for October 22, 2019

Peter better insert his other foot into his mouth.

Let it go bro. Can’t win for losing.

If you say so.

Tony asked, about 6 hours ago

How do you feel?

Got a little head cold – therefore meh.

No shrinking or other jokes, please – my forehead already does feel like my skin being too tight for my skull.

“Yes. Learn your grammar.”

Yes, Dear. (That’s all you need to know)

That was a good idea… dig a second hole so you have somewhere to put the dirt from the first one.

Meh!!!

JUST SHUT UP WHILE YOU’RE BEHIND!!

Might as well just jump in with both feet and go on offense. You’re not getting any tonight anyway.

Smile and say, “love of my life, you know there’s no safe answer to that for me.” then call the florist for a rush delivery

Daddy just put away the backhoe and stop digging the hole deeper. She will twist your words no matter what you say and remember, it is always okay for the female to insult the male but NEVER EVER insult the female. It’s a no win.

when someone is committed to arguing, it’s better to just walk away

Sounds about right

Peter, stop. RIGHT NOW!!

I’m a woman, but I don’t understand how or why other women can actually think this way. They’re poor husbands don’t stand a chance.

Lose her. Take the kid and run.

Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein really know the marriage dynamic well (or men and women generally). I am sure I must have offended someone somehow. :(

Fun fact: That’s what Killer Frost said after she threw a guy through a window.