Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for March 23, 2020

She’s putting the di*k in valedictorian

Alexa, in the first place no one knows which of you will come out first. In the second place, don’t be a jerk.

The valedictorian from my class was a real good guy. But he got his older girlfriend pregnant right after HS and they got married. He got a pretty good job with a chemical company and wound up getting killed at work along with this other guy before he made it to 20 years old. Sad but true story.

P3: Apparently the Tribune Content Agency LLC has an opinion on this.

P1: Is she the same woman in the last two days of strips? Now she looks about 60 years old, looking over her bifocals. Or is she looking over her glasses because her lenses steamed up after their brief encounter?

…and I do believe a few snarkers called the co-valedictorian angle….well done.

P3 “…and it turns out Teddy’s still mad about some time you guys were making fun of his last name three years ago. Can you believe he even remembers that?”

“Chris! I challenge you to a duel! Pistols at ten paces! If you get valedictorian after you made fun of my last name nine years ago, I’ll never be able to live with it! One of us has to die now so that it’ll be over! It’s the only thing I think about! It’s motivated me to beat you academically but I can’t guarantee I can do it! I’m mad as hell and I can’t take it any more!”

Chris and Alexa at prom together? Wait, does Milford even have a prom?

P1, Welp, the rapidly aging counselor appears to have finally aged out of the strip. Another winner!

P2, Ignoring your counselor is no way to win this battle, Alexa.

P3, Well, at least the water bottle is speaking to Alexa.

Sure sign basketball season is a goner when the plotline is about a young lady’s insecurities being #1 in her class academically. I bet she has a Janis Ian 8 track tape.

P1: Velma Dinkley - The Later Years.

Bitzh!

P 2.5: “….play Black Sabbath War Pigs…”

Have Faith, it isn’t Charity, I Hope it’s insurance that will reduce the angst and tension in this dramatic story-line.

P 4: “…you’re really hot when you’re angry….come to Daddy…”

P-2: It’s hard to tell from this angle, but it looks like Alexa is deflated by the news.

Yep, this is Milford! It’s 2020 and Alexa is plugging Spike’s first film.

What’s with this high-brow plot about grade-point-average? Did The ‘Ole Ball Coach take the season off? Didn’t the Chicago Lawyer make it clear that if Teddy feels “academically threatened” from his trauma with Chris that TEDDY should be declared valedictorian! See you in court.

Why does she assume it’s charity? Maybe she’s actually in the lead and this is Chris’ devious plot to avoid being salutatorian.

And speaking of avoiding, you can’t avoid reading today’s installment of Mopped Up Thorp: https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

In all reality , Marty Moon self quarantines with his friends Johny Walker and Jack Daniels and shares his case of Corona with them .

Let’s move on to the gym where they’re hoisting the banner to the girl’s 4th place and boy’s fifth place finish in the conference.

I flicked on ESPN or ESPN last night and they were broadcasting ESPN8’s content. The World Death Diving Championships (which was not actually death defying, just people doing crazy spinning and flipping dives and trying to make a large splash) and then, I forget what it was called, but it was a combination of juggling and dodgeball. It starts like dodgeball, on the whistle you sprint to grab the balls. At the same time one guy on each team juggles five pins while his teammates try to throw balls and knock the pins out of the other juggler’s hands. Other teammates try to block the balls being thrown.

I was hoping to start the Milford “Villains” Tournament today, but having some trouble setting up a webpage. Soon though!

Thought balloon, P3: “…geez..first that nitwit Teddy, now this b***h….”

Heeyyyy isss the guy in paanell threee Bobbb Dylaaaann? (kind of hard to type it where it sounds like Bob!)

Okay – who remembers what the Thorp dog’s name was?

Chris should concede the valedictorian title to Alexa. He doesn’t seem to care about it, and not knowing if she had the highest GPA would drive her crazy (crazier?).