Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for March 27, 2020

Ignore your cat at your peril.

My cat ignores me, so turn about is fair play.

What else is Aunty supposed to do?

Twig and I have very deep conversations.

My cat’s question: Where are the treats?

My cousin owns a small ranch in Virginia. When we visit I help him with his morning chores.

He talks to his animals. There is nothing wrong with this. I think some animals appreciate it even if they don’t totally understand. Dogs and horses have an impressive vocabulary, and they pick up on tone of voice and know that you are talking to them.

The problem is that my cousin also answers for them.

His wife has a name for every chicken, guinea fowl, turkey and whatever other critters they have. He has a name for them too. He calls them all “butthead.”

My cat is bilingual… she ignores me in English and in French…

That’s a good Aunty. Keep up your conversations with him. Eventually, he will teach you how to purr, claw and run to the kitchen when you hear the can opener.

The ever-stimulating congress of towering intellects.

Heck, I still talk to my dog and he has yet to ask me a question.

Don’t tolerate any backcat, I mean backchat, Aunty!

We understand that you want to have an intelligent conversation. It’s the cat we are worried about. It probably has to dumb things down for you.

My cats are physically incapable of speech, but they definitely try to talk to me. And they are very good at mimicking human tone of voice with whatever sounds they do make.

I can’t always figure out what they’re trying to say, but I can often get the general idea. They get frustrated when they’re trying to communicate something and I can’t figure it out. They definitely appreciate it when I succeed.

Get rid of the cat and get a dog….

Turn about is fair play.