The Buckets by Greg Cravens for April 10, 2020

If Spider-Man was a were-spider, that would mean he could only use his powers during a full moon, which would make it really hard fighting crime.

If he were a were-spider, he would grow 4 more appendages and thousands of eyes. Actually, sounds pretty cool. Also, wouldn’t his web come from his butt?

In Carrie Vaughn’s werewolf Kitty Norville series, Werewolves can change at will, but must change during the full moon. Yes, the title character is a werewolf named Kitty

In another era, they’d have missed the fact that “Captain Kangaroo” was neither a captain nor a kangaroo.

Spiderman better hope there are no Spiderwomen out there. Male spiders tend to not survive their first dates.

They’re stretchin’ things calling Peter Parker a man.

Different physiology, different process, different results — a werewolf doesn’t have anything in common with a radioactive spider, so their respective bites wouldn’t have the same effect. And if that doesn’t drive the point home . . .

“Even a man who is pure in heart,

And says his prayers by night,

May become a spider when the spiderbane blooms,

And the moon is full and bright.”

Doesn’t quite work, does it?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think they’re playing with Spider-Man, captain america, black widow (at least her bracelets look like widows stingers), and the hulk.

“were” is the old english term for "man. So “werespider” and “spider-man” are essentially the same terms.

To become a were-spider you need to be bitten by another were-spider during a full moon, not by a radioactive spider.