Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for May 02, 2020

Mike, we have a problem. You’re new nickname is Jackass.

“Yes, you’re being a clown in 1st period class. Therefore, we’re both here, the School Committee members and your parish priest will be here shortly as soon as the Chief of Police can round up enough squad cars to transport them, and I have the Lieutenant Governor holding on the phone.”

P1 Dr. Pearl is hot…so to speak! Looks like she uses Hillary as her fashion idol.

Mike, your peanut butter sesame bagel induced flatulence is wreaking havoc in the classroom!

“Yes, Mike you’re mother was hit and killed by a solvent salesman as she pulled out of the Kwik-e-Mart”.

“Just kidding, gotcha! You’re right Gil, that one never gets old”

“We may have a problem. Or more specifically, you may have a problem. NUTSO peanut butter? Not Skippy, Jif, or even Peter Pan, but… NUTSO? My God, man, have you no shame???”

I’m having trouble following this sloooowww story line – what problem could Mike the Mayor possibly have?

So Gil tells Kaz, “pull Mike quietly and I’ll be back.” Quietly involves Mike running to the backstop. Where Gil and Dr. Pearl are waiting. Yeah, that’s not noticeable by anyone on the team. And obviously Gil never even left. It also must have been uncomfortable for Mike to ask that question and then not get a response in the 5 minutes it took them to walk from the field to the school.

P 4: “….and by ‘We’….I mean you, son…”

more P 4:…“…your family?….why are you asking about them?….what’s really goin’ on here?…”

Yes, you have a problem. Where did you get that 1930’s mit?

You’re really in trouble now. Your Mother called. Did you…put the toilet seat down when you were finished?

P1- Number 1 is the loneliest number you could ever choose. Didn’t Bader wear #1? Obviously, the TCFS kids would never wear this whole number.

P4- Dr. Pearl: Toucan Sam, err Phoebe was crossing the street to the fieldhouse and was clipped by an unknown driver in a mysterious pickup truck. Witnesses say the driver honked, but Phoebe got the snot knocked out of her. Chief Lind is sniffing around for clues.

p 4 You’ve qualified for the George Carlin “Class Clown” scholarship but strange breakfasts and giving nicknames alone ain’t going to cut it. We are going to watch Ferris Bueller all day so you can learn how to really get Kenny Rodgers goat.

Mr. Rooney was going to cover Lolita as his next novel and there you are beating his time with Phoebe.

Gotta say, today’s comments are back to the high standards of the peacock days. Bravo!

In all reality, Gee Dr Pearl I’m sorry to hear that you and Coach Thorp might have a problem I’m sure you’ll be able to solve it . Thanks for sharing, I gotta get back to practice,bye,

Mike, when we say “mitt” in baseball, we don’t mean an oven mitt

Oh boy, a cliffhanger! Need to wait two days to find out what this major issue is that had to be dealt with IMMEDIATELY because it is so severe. And it will be a miracle if on Monday we find out what the issue is and we are not yelling about how lame it is.

And speaking of lame, today’s issue of Mopped Up Thorp is online: https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

It’s been 30 days since we’ve heard from cuttersjock. Hope he’s okay!

I’ll go out on a limb and wonder why the tree is telling Mike that is family is fine.