Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for May 25, 2020

Hence the Pet Rock of yore.

Plastic plants.

People often ask why my plants do so well. My answer, I rarely baby them. I usually wait till the leaves are looking dried out before watering them; often you will get new shoots and buds when you do water them. Think how desert plants blossom after months of drought.

I have a couple of silver lace vines that just thrive on neglect.

You don’t have to pay for that kind of plant. Just check your lawn for anything that isn’t grass.

If you really want plants that need no care buy a bag of “all natural seed for wild birds” and dump it on the worst possible spot, then turn over 3/4 of it with a shovel— and never mow or trim that one spot. I turned a horrible bad spot in one corner into an exotic garden, and everyone wanted to know who I got to plant that for me. Just be prepared to have it try to expand, and you might want a concrete block border around it.

Plant native plants! Problem solved.

Dandelions and other weeds.

I believe those are called cacti. They hardly need anything.

Ummmm….Dandelions?

Weeds.

I bought sprigs of plastic plant that match my neighbors living room plastic plants. On each visit I would sneak in a new branch. It took a while…….

Orchids. I think I watered mine a month ago. I’d better go look.