Kliban by B. Kliban for June 03, 2020

Where’s Sideshow Bob when you need him?

Until they send the bill.

This sends a fowl message!

Kiss a pheasant to become more pleasant!

Sounds like blarney to me …

One thing’s certain—the duck’s life will never be the same.

And that’s how COVID-19 started.

Land office business at the carnival today.

That’s one quacked up lady

That has to be ill eagle somewhere.

That’s the duck that used to work for Groucho.

Or kiss the cod.

It only works if you kiss the duck on its lips.

Sounds more like “pay a buck to be a schmuck”.

Mallard Filmore’s real job!

I can tell you for sure that this doesn’t work…a friend told me…

For better or for worse?

I’ve never actually kissed a duck. I’ve slept with a goat, but that was just family togetherness time (he was less “kicky” in his sleep than the family dog).