Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for June 25, 2020

VM? Virtual Madness? Vagina Monologues?

Here’s where Kaz reveals that he, too, went to Valley Modified when he was expelled for refusing to update his look from the 50’s. A couple of brilliant motivational speeches and Milford is humiliated.

Help me, wasn’t VM scrambling just to get baseball gear for the game??? Next thing you know they have uniforms, and all the rest of the stuff they need.

Does anybody see a brawl ensuing after a bad call by a “Rec League” Ump???

In all ŕeality , with time out called the VM cheerleaders and Jiggle’s dancers take the field to perform a lewd dance routine . The Milford plaýers become so arroused they run back to the Milford locker room and hit the showers thus forfeiting the game.

P-1 - “This is how I’d be holding my hand if I wore the Infinity Gauntlet. But I’m not so, unfortunately, we’ll have to try and win this game the old fashioned way.”

…and here come Knappester’s barristers.Or Gil to spoil the fun (again).

Place the Mayor on second, the Milford players would think twice of passing second if he has the butter knife out.

The bus from Chicago just got in, and the Butterknife Boys ( a subset of the Bloods) have already threatened the umpire, looted the Drunks stand, and asked where the country club is. Like Wade Boggs, they use only wooden bats in high school games ( at 15 he said he didn’t want to mess up his swing with an aluminum bat), except theirs have nails sticking out all over.

P3- Why is The Mayor focusing in on Pony Boy Curtis? With those clam shovels, Pony Boy can dig some well placed holes so Milford suffers timely sprained ankles.

P1, So Gil and Kaz aren’t calling the game?

P2, The Mayor brought Bill Buckner back from the grave.

P3, Alright, we’ve got ’em right where they want us.

Ooh, I was close with the first part of my prediction! I said Milford would score 4 runs in the first, they scored 4 in the second. Now waiting for a bigger lead, Milford getting cocky, Corina to get in a scrap, and then the comeback rally. Weird that they haven’t even mentioned her so far. (Assuming that’s her in the catcher’s gear.)

Who’s calling for the time out? Everybody is on the mound checking out the Mayor’s giant mitt.

P-1: The Mayor practices for his future job as a Mime. Here he pulls the rope to signal the bus to stop.

P-2: No wonder there were 2 errors. From the kicked up dust and the position of the ball in front of the infielder’s leg this kid is facing sideways. He should be turned 90 degrees to his left.

P-3: What we’ve all been waiting for: Bill Murray calls time out. (well it is a comic strip)

As if rec league softball umps are barely worthy of this standard of play……

The softball rec league umps totally screw the game up by starting every batter with a 1-1 count and two foul balls = strike three

P1: The player gets so excited that he’s playing the Legendary Milford Mudlocks that he accidentally flashes the Fist Pump People’s gang tag.

P3: A call for time as as the groundskeepers scurry with shovels and plastic bags to clean up the two that were left on first base.

P2 shows what happens when a concealed,sharpened butter knife sticks you in the back.

The Governor called The Mayor offering pardons to VM felony players if they don’t get mercy-ruled. Vito From Goshen just put the odds up, and they’re staggering. Wildcat Maris expecting a big payday after consulting with Gil, about Milford making a few errors of their own, to keep it close. Gil whispered to him, “bet the over.”

Ahem, what happened to The Mayor’s secret weapon of knowing all of Milford’s weaknesses? He forgot about his team’s weakness – the inability to play baseball. And what’s the deal in P3, the whole team gathers on the mound and THEN someone calls time out? I mean, time is already out unless that’s how they’re positioning their defense.

Also, who the hell is paying for all this? The team tee shirts, I suppose everyone chips in $20. But if you look at the color version, they all have matching pants. Unless those are jeans, which is a possibility. And who paid to rent this field? And who is paying the umpires? VM and Milford might want to check their financial books to make sure somebody isn’t embezzling.

And speaking of checking, you definitely want to check out today’s Mopped Up Thorp. I spent way too long on it, but the NINE panels of action are worth it!

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

Okay, another fearless prediction. The person calling the time out is Corina! She didn’t show up again after that one practice, but was watching the game and got fed up. She’ll yell at them, suit up, and spark the team to glory.

Although somebody not on the team cannot call time out and walk out there. But what do these umps care, they’re getting their $25 either way.

P-4: Top of the Third, I shall taunt the EENglish with nicknames and tell them we already have one when they ask about thee grail

7 guys on the mound, So even the center fielder came in?