That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for July 23, 2020

The lady with the red umbrella saw her chance as the security guard slept.

“Where are the naked men?”

Art is all about the presentation, and this museum certainly knew how to present its paintings – cover them in heavy gilt frames and hang them three deep!

And please, no flash photography (we don’t want the flash to start any fires).

“Please exit through the gift shop.”

“Where are the Grandma Moses paintings? I’m feeling primitive today!”

We’re group of people commenting about a painting of a group of people commenting about paintings.

How meta.

♩500 painting and nothing to see…

It’s really a crying shame/ that the painting’s the name of the game/ and nobody thrills/ at the singular skills/ of the bloke who created the frame.

“The last time I went to one of these ‘Starving Artist’ sales it was at the Holiday Inn in downtown Boston back in 1973. I had no idea the artwork had been hanging there for nearly one hundred years!”

Little did Mussorgsky’s mother know what an impact it would have on her son.

The new dating scene: Martha had heard that the museum was the place to go if you were over 50 and wanted to find a date. But she wasn’t quite certain how to go about doing that. So far the only man she had been able to approach was the one seated in the chair. Unfortunately, he hadn’t responded to her request (being asleep).

Saved a lot of money, never had to paint the walls.

Little girl works on stance, and duck lips for selfies.

You think that it’s funny to say “shit,” but then you disguise it in your caption.

The horror of the days when a “selfie” took hours to paint, and you could never get the nose just right. But on the plus side, it was a rarity to be “portrait-bombed.”

A thief tried to steal the paintings at the Louvre in Paris. He was caught two blocks away when he ran out of gas.

“I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. But I tried anyway because I had nothing Toulouse!” ︎

Melcher really nailed Netflix, the place where twenty year old B movies go to die.

KID: YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO THE MOVING PICTURE SHOW!!!

MOM: Yeah, well just run down the hall and it will look like they’re moving.

KID: Bullsh*t!

Hey kid, if you’re trying to look under that lady’s dress you are going to have to do some heavy lifting.

It’s no good Elvira. I’m just never going to find anything that will go with the powder blue in the hallway.

A Corner of the Salon in 1880: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Edouard_Dantan_Un_Coin_du_Salon_en_1880.jpg 

has info and links that point to info about this painting.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/122336373/_douard-joseph-dantan 

https://books.google.com/books?id=rK9FAQAAMAAJ&pg=PA318#v=onepage&q&f=false 

http://www.iment.com/maida/family/mother/vicars/edouarddantan.htm 

all have info, or links that point to more info, about this artist, perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the title URL. So far, 3 works by him have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2018/02/19?comments=visible 

has the prior (my comment there included the last 2 artist info URLs).

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2498 (July 22, 2020) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

but it’s a different three for each subscriber

Each morning at quarter to ten/ she appears in the lobby, and then/ she makes her selection/ from a ghastly collection/ of horrid, but horny, old men..(hey, it’s a living…)

Addendum: But today she is bringing a friend/ for she thinks she’s discovered a trend:/ the men think it’s fun/ to receive two for one/ and it may just pay off, in the end.

The man in the chair thinking “And I thought she took forever when she was trying on clothes …”

Hey, look at all the pictures I painted!

Lady with catalog: “Ou sont ‘Les Neiges,’ Dantan?”Painter: “Over on the far left—that gentleman thinks you can cool off just by staring at it.”