Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for August 18, 2020

I keep looking for that button when I’m on elevators but I can never find it.

I was once on an elevator when an elderly woman was trying to hurry to get to it. The person by the buttons saw the woman and started pushing the “Close Door” button. I reached under his arm and pushed the “Open Door” button while also putting my foot in front of the door to keep it open. Some people bother me.

I thought that was the default setting.

heh heh heh Love it!

If only it were that simple.

I like the elevators with the guillotine blade in the door for those who stick their hand in to stop it at the last second. Plus, if some little old lady asks if I can give her a hand, there’s usually one or two on the floor. (I can’t help it – too much self-isolating.)

There are people in my building that would love that button.

I use the old New York trick. I dive for the buttons and press but it never seems to keep the door open. Probably because I never actually press on the button.

LOL! I’m always the person on the other end of that!

Other times it would be would. During an outbreak it’s a matter of personal survival

Like the “Boss” button on old computer games.

Life is too short to run for elevators. The good news is that he’ll be first on the next one…

These days when I’m heading for an elevator and see someone in it I’ll slow down and let the door close, hoping for an empty one.

Love it!

“Schadenfreude…F you lady that what stairs are for!” Avenue Q

we used to have traffic lights with signs that said “Timed for 40 mph between lights”. They were right. They were timed to turn red just as you got there.

Ah, I see Mark is ready to pick up again with troublesome coworkers of the human sort.

Frankly, I miss my furry quadruped home office mate … and he misses me.

I usually hit that one by mistake when I’m trying keep the door open, honestly.

My gripe is the idiots who press ALL the floor buttons. You’d think it would be a young kid thing but NOOOOOO.