Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for October 06, 2020

“Gee, Coach, maybe I made a few changes to the plays from what we called, but we won, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, I know. I want you to explain how you managed to do that. I might try some of that stuff next game.”

Meanwhile, Marty Moon continues to broadcast the game to his core listeners, the residents of the Milford Home For The Terminally Decrepit, who can’t change the channel and have no choice but to listen.

Do “mudlarks” have horns?

Take the W Gil and let the kids have their fun.

I think GilPa will be drinking his coffee alone, this kid is going to call another audible and not show until 8:00 AM..less time before school starts…therefore fewer laps possible. Alternatively, his parents will intervene, contact the School Board and claim that GilPa is being abusive.

“I see you’ve had some training Mayo.”

In all reality , No way am I showing up at 6 AM so you can torture me, I quit .

P3: “Milford’s win cost me ten grand.”

Genuine question, I thought players were supposed to do that? Make decisions, take opportunities as they present? In real life, if the guy makes the right call, and it works out and they win, isn’t the coach happy? Even if he changed the original orders?

Marty will probably be there in his shack at 6am Monday, sleeping off the weekend- so do your coffee drinkin’ and lap running QUIETLY please

But outsourcing the actual job of coaching is what Gil is all about!

P 4: Just like Robbie Benson told his coach in the movie One on One, “…screw you coach….after the show I put on tonight, I can go play for any school…”

P 4: “…I’ll explain it right now….you and coach Kaz are a couple of clueless boobs….I’m on the field and see the tendencies and weak spots of the opposing defense, so I can judge better than you what play should be called…just drink your coffee and enjoy the show…”

Sorry Coach I’ll still be sleeping.

Rapson looks like he grew 6 inches since the win

Nice mullet Rapson’s sporting in P2.

P1, And now I’ll uncap my third bottle of Mad Dog.

P2, Gil grabs Rapson by the throat to show he means business.

P3, You’re gonna cost us second in The Valley, dammit!

Gil: So now that I can’t trust you at QB, what position do want to play that doesn’t involve play calling

P-1: Marty goes Woke

P-2: I love the smell of Napalm in the morning

P-3: As Gil’s eyes move closer than we’ve eve seen them, his X-Coach powers make Rapson’s face begin to melt

P1- Rod Whigham could be more consistent. The 9/7/2020 P3 shows a modern pressbox and HVAC system on the roof. Today in P1, Moon is back in the tinderbox.

P3- Gil the master psychologist. The kid is ready to break out in hives and suffers the first melting face on the season. There’s not a loofah large enough or coarse enough to sooth him.

P3: The kid breaks out in a cold sweat because he knows what that chickenhawk look in Gil’s eyes means in the shower room.

P2 Terry has the look that says “Why aren’t you getting someone to ice my arm? Are you through, I’m working on my cool nickname. And hey, I’ll be coming IN at 6 am.”

P 2 thought balloon: “…run laps, my a$$…if he’s here, then maybe I’ll just sneak over to his house and get with Mimi…she said to come by anytime when Gil is away…”

Gil says “run laps”. The kid hears “lap dance” and immediately thinks of Mimi. The disconnect grows bigger.

I though the players were supposed to play the game, at least in high school. I though “coach” means “teach”, not “control”.

C’mon everyone—this is shaping up to be a Marty story! And I’m not talking about Ernest Borgnine!

The first time Moon ever gave Gil some respect and it turns out it was 100% opposite of his coaching.

Nice of Gil to not say a word after the touchdown. Or during the remaining few minutes of the game. Instead he waited until well after the game ended to interrupt the manic 10 minute arm raising that the players do, to then rip into his QB.

And speaking of ripping, I hope nobody is going to rip today’s Mopped Up Thorp: https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

P 2: “ Wayne’s world… Wayne’s world…”

Decaf…with 2 lumps…………of sugar.