Brevity by Dan Thompson for October 12, 2020

What do you call a Monk with osteoporosis who likes eating onions and walks everywhere barefoot?

He’s a Super fragile calloused mystic plagued with halitosis.

What’s the difference between a 5 lb bag of onions and some bagpipes?

No one cries when you cut up the bagpipes.

A chive jive?

""Green Onions" entered the Billboard Hot 100 the week ending August 11, 1962, and peaked at No. 3 the week ending September 29, 1962. The single also made it to No. 1 on the R&B singles chart, for four non-consecutive weeks, an unusual occurrence in that it fell in and out of top spot three times." (source: Wikipedia).

Let’s hear him lay down some beats on beets.

He probably shouldn’t “leek” the news, someone may steal his idea.

I think the B-52s made “Rap Scallion” as a sequel to “Rock Lobster”.

If you don’t practice with the cleaver, you lose your chops!

I once ordered a chicken wrap with “Buck buck BUCK! Buck buck BUCK!”

Then asketh he of him:

“Have you any onions, And have you savory?”

But he answered him not,Saying:

“Onions have I,But savory have I none.”

Whereupon he scolded him:

“Then thou art an unsavory rapscallion!”