Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for October 29, 2020

I don’t think any one will come around this year. So i just bought me some candy.

“It’s on sale, and I can’t resist a bargain.”

Trick or treat? The trick is to leave your lights off and all the treats will be yours.

I’ll wait until after Halloween, when the candy is marked down.

I work in retail (our dept. includes candy) and people have been thrashing our candy aisle. Both the Halloween and regular candy…… I shudder to think we will be having an obesity pandemic soon! YIKES!

So why hoard the Halloween candy?

My wife and I could not figure out a safe way to do this. Our neighborhood is such that we could just put a bowl of candy out and use the honor system. But my wife, the nurse, said that she does not want to encourage the kids for the practice.

Still I wish that there was something we could have organized for the kids.

We’re making individual treat bags with a few candies in each. We’re putting them on a table, spaced apart, so there is no need for kids to touch more than the one they are taking. And we are trusting them to take one.

The best thing parents can do this year is hide Halloween candy throughout their home (or even their yard) and let the kids (maybe even in costume) go find all of it.

This cart load is for me

I also have been trying to trick my mind into treating myself

Well, yeah. Some of us have been doing that for years. Now we might admit it.

Any kid willing to walk from the nearest village to my house is welcome to get some candy. However, they’ll age out on the walk and have to turn over any treats to their children born along the way. We are just a wee bit off of the path.

That’s me! Who was following me?

COVID intervention.

We’re Americans and, presumably adults, do we really need an excuse to buy fattening foods?

I won’t miss trick or treaters.

The great thing about buying your own candy is you get the kind you like.

Yeah, this year’s best costume, the f***ing Corona Virus!!!

There were a bunch of bags of variety candy that’s BOGO at my local Publix. I took advantage of that so now my family and I can chomp on two bags of Hershey All Time Greats Snack Size Candy!! We don’t get trick or treaters here anyways even pre-COVID.

“Oh, trick or treating was cancelled.”

“What’s your point?” ;)