Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for November 24, 2020

Hey Dakota. I just went to my 35th high school reunion not long ago. The cool kids now look twice their age, and wish they’d married nerds.

Sorry Dakota. If it’s not in the book, it’s not an official rule.

Oh, yeah, you. Remember when you kept flirting with me, and never got the message that I wasn’t interested? Even after my dad told me he saw you kissing another boy, you still persisted. Yeah, those were not good times. Go back to your real boyfriend.

I’ve wondered more than once how it would be if Mari used that goblin spell on Dakota? Or possibly a human spell on the Goblin Queen?!?

Uncool kids generally understand what the cool kids are talking about, but they generally think it’s some combination of stupid and unimportant.

Yeah they obviously quarreled over whether the new Animaniacs episodes benefitted or suffered from the increased political comments and decreased cast. I still like it though.

Heck always enjoyed Pinky and the Brain heavily.

I was never a cool kid. So what’s this abandoned burger joint thing?

Cool… I guess.

Weirdly, I do sort of get what she’s trying to say here. Don’t necessarily agree, but…

It’s amazing how a really bad prank, carried on for hours, becomes a “Cool Kid Thing”.

As a reasonably good high school level athlete (with no possibility of being any more than that really) I was one of those on the perimeter of the cool kid bubble. I could see them, I interacted with them, could watch them interact – and was tolerated by them, but wasn’t one of them. A strange breed they were and sometimes I felt like Dian Fossey watching them.

She likes her metaphors mixed, not straight, and with a twist of lemon.

I have a sweater like that. Can’t seem to get rid of it.

uh… Dakota come again?

If THAT was a cool kid thing,I gone. I DON’T EVEN GET IT,HOW DO U TALK SOOOOO MUCH?? I WOULD HAVE TO DRINK 5 CUPS OF WATER THROUGH THAT!!! Also,that hard to maintain,remember,and keep up girl, switch to the normal or nerdy side. Just memoriza the formula’s I guess

thats not cool, dakota.

That is like a super long metaphor

I don’t know blart, but I know what I like.

Blart. Blart. Bläärt. Blart!

Sorry, Dakota, I don’t speak coolkidanese… :P