FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for March 20, 2021

This can only end poorly

And just with whom could Roger trade stocks online? Th’equally dimwitted Jon Arbuckle?

So… another week of this arc?

Roger? There is this nigerian prince friend of mine I’d like you to meet…

Research, buy smart and HOLD. Day trading is like playing Russian Roulette, only with a stock ticker instead of a gun.

So, you’re in competition with megacomputers that analyze mini-tends on thousands of stocks every second and buy and sell them within a minute.

I knew a person who was into day trading. I think he worked three times harder than I ever had. I doubt he made three times as much money.

I pay someone to manage my stocks. So far he’s doing a good enough job. I’m making money.

I hesitate to invest all my money into something that’s run by panic and greed.

My boss’ son has made a quite a lot by day trading. Yes, he has a “real” job, but does this in his spare time.

Pattern day traders age at a rate far faster than those of us not intelligent enough to engage in the sport.

Jason is the math, computer whizz. Time to turn that intellect loose on the world. I would want an AI system that watches all the world news and figures out how the markets will move then goes All In with Futures, puts, and Calls. The system is a no brainer for Jason.

And this even predates /r/wallstreetbets

This reminds me of a Leave It To Beaver episode. Beaver bought his dad a book “How to Make A Million Dollars”, and was soooo disappointed when his dad threw it in a kitchen drawer. Basically the book instructed the reader to “buy low stocks and sell high.”

Dad speaking Jason’s way.

This is getting old fast. I hope Andy plays the “shape up or ship out” card pretty soon to snap Roger out of his idiotic ways.

Man, this scenario must be hell in real life. To have a partner suddenly make a life altering decision on their own, and then follow it up with stupid crap like this would stress me out. What’s even scarier is that Roger was relatively responsible and reasonable

Remember 1999? For some things, it’s best we don’t.

Next he’ll launch a dotcom….

I became a millionaire working half days. And I even got to pick which 12 hours a day I worked.

If this came out now, Roger would probably be trading crypto and get scammed after investing in a $h!tcoin.

Roger’s current folly reminds me of a guy I used to work with who was always trying money making schemes that never, ever worked out. Coworkers used to snicker behind his back about his latest harebrained scheme, though it was hard to feel bad for him. He was an unlikable guy and lazy AF.