Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for October 14, 2000

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Did You Know? This week -- DEMOCRACY In our busy world, we can find ourselves rushing about practicing democracy, without stopping to think about whether there are FUN FACTS to be learned about this system of government. There are. The ancient Greeks discovered democracy by accident! They were trying to discover Quicklime (CaO) for use in cement. Sea lions can be induced to practice DEMOCRACY through the use of fish and other treats as rewards. In China, democracy is used only as a folk remedy and aphrodisiac! Chris O'Donnell disfavors democracy, preferring instead gerontocracy, rule by a council of elders. The odds of your vote having an effect on a national election are so remote SCIENTISTS agree they are effectively zero, but it would be irresponsible to state this publicly. Nicole Kidman believes that democracy is GOOD. American democracy is a sham, with large corporations buying candidates and legislation. Democracy has existed for over 200 years, and has transformed civilization...BUT HAS WON NO OSCARS! A closing message from Daisy Democracy To the extend any point can be gleaned from this piece, most of which is incomprehensible crypto-ironic gibberish, be aware that it is intended as satire, and in no way should be interpreted as discouraging the patriotic act of voting. To the contrary, remember: "Voting's Not For Chumps, It's For Champs!" And a word from Irony Ira Note that this explanatory message itself is not sarcastic, despite the use of an ironic mascot-character and catchphrase, but rather is quite heartfelt. Really.