Monty by Jim Meddick for March 04, 2021

Me…..I spoke of up the Ying Yang when I got my colonoscopy with Dr Yang…….YIKES!

From my wisdom teeth extraction I had my wife and a nurse escorting me in a stupor to the car as I hit on the nurse…….my impression of Andy Cuomo, I guess.

I need difficult surgery and am worried that I’ll say things afterwards that are better kept secret.

My mother counted… sort of. It went on for quite a while.

OTOH, my kids always knew what to say if I said, “are ya ready kids?”

Twenty years ago, I woke up from minor surgery singing “I don’t need no doctor!” That was an old Humble Pie tune that was stuck in my head. I don’t know if I sang it during the surgery, but I like to think so!:-)

My wife’s friend is a recovery room nurse and she says they hear the most bizarre things.

I experienced deja vu for a couple days. Kind of disturbing. I would say didn’t we just do this, and people would say no.

If there was a fourth panel – Nurse suddenly notices and says: “Oh my God! I’m talking to a robot!!”

To be technically correct, the lyric is “ If nautical nonsense BE something you wish”.

That’s a good look, Monty. A “do rag” could be a fashion accessory.

Wish I hadn’t read that – I’m going under tomorrow!

When I went in for my last colonoscopy, they asked if I had somebody to drive me home. I said “Nah, I’ll just take the bus.” But they wouldn’t let me, because I’d be too groggy from the anesthetic to be trusted to walk onto it instead of in front of it. Not wanting to reschedule, I asked whether it would be OK to proceed without the anesthetic. It wasn’t as if they were going to be slicing me open or anything. They were dubious and made me sign a release, but they went ahead. While the procedure went on, it really wasn’t particularly bothersome physically, and I got to watch the screen and listen to the chatter. Kind of interesting, really. I recommended afterward that they make “no anesthesia” the default and ask people if they wanted to opt in instead of out.

That smile … )

What is this “normal circumstances” you speak of, E.B.? Monty is never normal!

Randallw—-I hope the surgery will go even better than you hope for, and recovery will be restful and with little pain. And that you also have good insurance that pays for all or VERY close to all of it.

Many years ago, on tonsil day at Children’s Hospital, Seattle, we had a pair of twins for adenoid & tonsilectomies. The parents had not told the young boy that he would also be circumcised that morning… in the recovery room brother and sister twin were in side by side cribs. The boy looked at his sister and said “You won’t believe where your adenoids are!” (Short and revised version.) :>)