Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 08, 2021

Pig will be playing the lottery… a lot.

So . . . hoping for a Fairy Godmother, then.

Ask to mr. Mario Draghi, former ECB president and now Italian Prime Minister.

You’re asking for sty in the sky.

Like so many, Pig is willing to do anything to make a living, except work.

Pig won’t sweat like a pig.

He could live like Kramer on Seinfeld: "Do nothing, fall a$$ backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. "

Make a viral video and get enough views on TikTok Pig and never work again…

let’s not overdo it with the whatever it takes…

Hey, that’s my kind of strategy!

Pig’s methodology will allow him to keep his blood pressure down and remove a lot of stress! Can’t argue with that!!

Let’s not overdo there Pig!

Conditions apply, of course.

Once again, Pig nails the secret to a contented life.

It depends on how you define ‘success’.

I’d say Pig’s sty-mied!

The Ant and the Grasshopper …

Well that’s a guarantee for failure.

I know it’s been discussed, but I can’t recall if anyone’s ever had a good answer to the question:

Why does Pig always get himself inky/dirty every time he writes?

I mean, yeah, he’s a pig and all, but he manages to go about most mundane activities without looking like a pig.

This is the Trump school of physical exercise : “You are going to die young because of this.”

Especially sweating!

A pig is a pig is a pig….in a poke!

Oh, running for office?

Pig would make a good politician, promise everything, deliver nothing, then blame others.

Pigs can’t sweat.

Years ago when we farmed we raised pigs. They don’t sweat, they roll in mud if possible to protect their skin. While raising them, I realized how intelligent they are. I have seen them play “tag”, they make a bathroom spot as far from their food as possible and they are actually social. I haven’t eaten pork since.

That’s the strategy for success in retirement. Works for me.

Pig always looks a little worse for wear when he’s writing things like this. Life is not being kind to the poor guy.

Pig needs to switch to a ballpoint, his fountain pen always leaks on his face.

His limitations are limitless.

Needs work…..

Don’t spend money.

Pig’s got to know his limitations…

Agreed! If it ain’t fun, it ain’t worth doing.

good luck at that, Pig, when it comes to your footnote

Seems like a lot of people can’t draw the distinction.

Unfortunately, a common sentiment.

I was born to retire – but I started forty years late.

It’s a good idea to define “it” first. Often takes the wind out of anxiety.

No Pig, the limits have you…limited.

Shoot for happiness, Pig. Compared to success, happiness is easier to achieve.

Probably it doesn’t speak well for me, but I really like Pig’s thinking today!

I need Panel 2 on a T-shirt, with Panel 3 on the back!