Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan for August 03, 2021

My brother decided that aliens watching us must think we worship dog poop.

Worship Dogs. Poop is the Sacrament!

Did you hear about the woman walking her dog and a mugger reached into her purse?

Yer Up. LOL!!!!

Besides being bag man for 3 dogs, I give them each a little treat. Boy, do they have me trained.

“………….your friends and peers think highly of you………..” AND even more highly of you for unashamedly taking on the responsibility of sharing life with a pooch. I too, clean up after my boy (all 65kg of him!!!) and am proud of it. Those who think it’s disgusting can go and take a long walk off a short pier.

I remember growing up on a farm, having an outdoor dog (or dogs – one at a time) – unchained and not fenced in – virtually never having to clean up after them and seldom accidentally stepping in something. They seemed to “take care of their business” discretely.

Well you must have something to fill in the groundhog holes with ;-)

You know pooper scoopers are a thing right?

Thank you for being a good dog city citizen Chad. Your actions are exemplary. Icky, but honorable.

I even pick up in the woods. You never know who else might be on that path. If I really don’t want to, I picture it getting dry, blowing in the wind like sand, and ending up inhaling it some day. It’s a motivator that works for me.

Your dog thinks you’re an idiotI can not but agreeHe does not do a lick of workAnd lives with you for freeAnd thrice a day you take himOutside for a little walkAnd urge him to evacuateHis bowels with baby talkAnd when he does you greet itWith much fanfare and great joyYou pat him on his furry headAnd call him a good boy.He watches as you bag itGather every precious slugHe thinks next time he’ll save the tripAnd leave it on your rug

Dog walkers seem even less inclined to pick it up in the winter. They must think it melts with the snow. At least it’s easier to see on a white background.

I often wonder. My dog spends time finding just the right spot to poop and then I pick it up and discard it. Does she ever wonder “Why do I work so hard to find the perfect spot!?”

“And I’m a dog poop bag man.”

You are a pet owner. Get over it.

My dog will point out other dog poop and expect me to pick it up. I wish I were joking. And I don’t use baby talk to get her to go. Most dogs have a schedule if they are fed on a schedule, and if you pay attention you can go for a walk around the right time. If it doesn’t happen, then try again later. The walking is good for both of us. Weather is of no consequence, I can dress for anything.

I made friends with the gardeners at the Quay. They had to pick up after all the dogs to avoid getting a mouthful when they mowed!

It’s hard to have good self-esteem when you are holding a bag of poop.