Prickly City by Scott Stantis for August 14, 2021

Descartes revised: “Cogito ergo boom”.

I stink, therefore I don’t bathe.

You watch faux noise therefore you are brainwashed!

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart, “I drink therefore I am”!

He was at a party on a time and the host asked him if he’d like another drink. He replied “I don’t think….” I’m sure you know where this is going.

I guess that means that I’m not!

“I oink. Therefore, I’m ham.”

Awkward. “I Tweet” would work slightly better but it wasn’t “I write”, it was “I think”. Thinking needs no external paraphernalia of either sort. Precious little, or too much tortured, thinking happening among the Q consortium. And way too little doubting.

I was kicked off Twitter, therefore the election was stolen from me.

Yeah, I know he’s trying to make the point that changing even a word of an ancient quote somehow vitiates the culture of the world and poisons its precious bodily fluids, but it’s like saying “I do this thing, therefore I exist,” which seems fine to me. Kind of along the lines of refuting someone by kicking a stone. There’s a time and place for empiricism.

Just kidding. SILLY WINSLOW CHANGE WORD HA HA

I have three bars, therefore I am.

Don’t put Descartes before discourse.

Still better than the common right-wing populist motto of “I have a thought, therefore I’m a genius.”

“Let’s Do The Time Warp Again.”

Happy 46th Anniversary to The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

René Descartes is a drunken fart. I drink therefore I am.

Eric Idle