Close to Home by John McPherson for August 10, 2021

Sweet, now I can get the deluxe coffin with all the bells and whistles. You know, the dead ringer thing LOL.

All you can get for $500 is a cardboard box.

Perfect for Black Widows everywhere.

Some funeral directors thrive on their casket business! In your grief, they’ll lead you to the most expensive and guilt you into buying one for your loved one….

Umm show room man this casket seems to be occupied. It’s has some well dress sleeping dude with fangs that has a metal spike in his chest. Seems uncomfortable. Let’s see if I could remove it….

Have you ever seen the “official” KISS coffin?

Salesman looks a little over excited about showing customers around.

I been dying to take a survey like that.

I wonder if I can get a casket with a racing stripe?

J. Cronin. Any relation to Joe Cronin of MLB fame?

Solution:

Giant Amazon box, lined with padded envelopes from eBay, sealed with tape from Etsy!

Five bucks!

You’re welcome.

If I’m not satisfied after 30 days, can I return it for a full refund?

Also, “Take advantage of our Buy one, Get one FREE”!!!

OK – my serious comment of the day: I never bother with those. “A Chance” to win something means you most likely won’t. Give me something for my trouble – a free sandwich, slight discount, .50 off, etc. (We now return you to humorous comments)

Is she there for a dress rehearsal?

“Must be present to win.”

:)

Hey…what are the 1st 3 letters in Funeral?? FUN!

When my Uncle passed away my Aunt went to buy a casket. She asked the mortuary salesman if there were any last year models or demos! She bought a discounted casket. My Uncle didn’t complain.

They’re building my pyramid now, next to Khufu’s. But twice the height.