Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 25, 2022

While visiting Japan, I went by train from Tokyo to Takayama, many hours on different trains. Commuters there sleep away their trip, seemingly aware of where they are. Suddenly the stop is announced and bang, from a deep sleep to out the door! Amazing.

I try to write parody songs and think they’re pretty good, until along comes this cartoonist genius who could outwrite me any day in the week. (“Etaoin shrdlu,” just to show off my knowledge of trivia, is a line of keys on a Linotype machine. They were once used in printing newspapers.

Sunk to the tune of Dixie:

Oh I wish I could find my shorts of cotton, where I left them I’ve forgotten look away, look away, look away, naked man.

As naked as when I was born, my only other pair is torn look away, look away, look away, naked man.

Don’t look you’ll see my dickie, no way! no way! A naked man, I’ll take my hand, and cover up my dickie. So low, so low, so low hangs down my dickie. Away, away, away down South my dickie.

One of the Mortal Fears of my lifetime commuting was that I’d fall asleep and miss my stop. If I were still a rider, I’d fear falling asleep and being mugged or murdered….