Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 25, 2023

Transcript:

second catalog alert obscenities winter 2002 obscenities - sinfully self-indulgent foods & material goods that joyously deplete the earth's precious resources. artisanal cheeses produced by child slave labor, rhinocerous horn toothpicks, endangered songbirds in a heavy cream sauce! yum-yum! all proceeds go to support illegit-imate & oppressive dictatorships. fred 'n' ethel's fred 'n' ethel's - ironically dowdy clothing for tiresome, aging baby boomers who cling to retro kitsch. drab, wierdly triangular dresses for her & armpit-high pants for him. be-come your parents in the worst way. nabob & satrap perpwalk power looks winter 2002 nabob & satrap - this year's catalog of executive fashion & accessories reflects the ceo's diminished status; designer eyewear that folds into a shiv, a mont blank jailhouse tattoo fountain pen & monogrammed cufflinks that complement any orange jumpsuit. haarfenspongg winter '02 haarfenspongg - offers incoherent-ly styled hand knit woolens from scandinavia. the one pictured may also be used as a front-loading baby carrier, a computer monitor cozy & a car bra.