Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 11, 2024

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac by richard thompson the new twenty dollar bill it's in color! excellent corporate branding opportunity! shown-"moon pie" jokes & stories! continued on next sequential bill. new "glitter ink" technology foils counterfeitors, unless they happen to be 7 year old girls. 20 20 168000 moon pie the united states of america twenty 20 20 tiresome yahoo andrew jackson's picture replaced by delicately tinted portrait of beloved oscar-winning actress frances mcdormand ("fargo")! get your bill punched each time you stop by yowzabagel! after six cisits you get one free cinnamon raisin breakfast bagel and one free 10 oz. cup of yowza coffee! 20 the united states of america 20 money makes the world go 'round 20% off any purchase alcohol, tobacco, firearms. nty dollars 20 coupon redeemable at any participating atf package store! (please read disclaimer of vendor responsibility carefully.) it lights up! just like the famous "vegas strip"! microchip alerts dept. of homeland security if bill is spent on al qaeda-front charities, wmd's or howard dean website!