Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for September 05, 2021

Here in Alabama, every commercial break usually has THREE commercials for lawyers. Sometimes, two of them are the same commercial.

They’re soliciting.

Bill F. Hours, Esquire.

We have a group based in Harrisburg who use commercials which are disgusting. Many of them contain a simulated car accident. Those simulations are gut-wrenchingly real looking. I’d pick one of the other ambulance chasers over that bunch any day.

And another one for drugs.

Am reminded of a Saturday Night Live skit…John Belushi advertising as a tax preparer…“And I also can take the time to do your taxes right…because I’m doing time…for tax evasion, fraud….”

They might do some Pro Bono work. But first they need to find the bone.

The only lawyers who can’t go to jail are the Dems in congress.

Is that Avenatti, the Dem darling?

Is his name Giuliani?

They should have to include a list of warnings like the drug commercials.

“Don’t use Wie, Cheatum, and Howe if your are allergic to them.”

Soon, I expect to see ads in pairs:

“Take our new drug Xylophone!” “If you died after taking Xylophone, even if you were hit by a bus, we can help.”

“Men everywhere are using our plutonium trimmer to give themselves haircuts!” “Thousands of men have cut off their ears, fingers, or heads while using the plutonium trimmer. If you have a bag of body parts that were formerly attached, call our number…”

and then there is the state with bill boards along the highway were each lawyer has a telephone number of all one number.

One firm here sells their services like a get rich scheme. “We got Ann $6M, Brad got $1.7M…”

I keep expecting it to end with Lottery’s tag line “but you can’t win if you don’t play”.

There was a time when no decent lawyer would be caught dead advertising like that. But, back then “ambulance chasers” didn’t have television. We call them “Land Sharks”.

My lawyer passed his bar exam with flying colors, but goes back to school every night.

That must have been the Michael Avenatti commercial

Sounds like one of my ex’s divorce lawyers.

I once tried being a trial lawyer, but quit after my first case, during which the judge said, “Based on your last motion, counsellor, I’m not sure whether it’s more likely that you just passed the bar or that you just came from one.”

Lawyers and politician, birds pf a feather

The trolls are trying to claim Giuliani is a good lawyer. Well, let’s just see…

Disbarred in NY.

Disbarred in DC.

As he was lying about voter fraud (no case he brought up resulted in anything but judges asserting that they were unfounded) his hairdye is melting all over his face.

As he’s again lying about the election being fraudulent (again nothing but judges asserting there was no proof in the many cases he pushed) he blows his nose, turns the handkerchief inside out, and wipes it all over his face and hands.

So he is obviously a perfect example of the type that stands up for the Taliban Turd Reich as they try to push lie after lie after lie. Twice disbarred and obviously not the sharpest tool in the shed on his best days.

Rudi! Rudi Rudi!

Correct suspended, soon to be disbarred. Hey Randal-Boor, the southern district NY Federal prosecutors are also pretty successful and oh look, they’re going after Giuliani and Rumpy both, among other criminal cronies.