Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for September 18, 2021

Damned good to see you. This is one of the damnedest things. How’s your damn wife? I heard she damn left you and took the house. I know, it was a mobile home. Damn shame.

THE John Kovaleski? Famous bald cartoonist of Dadding Badly and the late, lamented Bo Nanas? THAT John Kovaleski?

Some people like to think it’s going to be a “hell of a good time”. I don’t know exactly what it will be like, but … it won’t be good. It won’t be a good time. It will be hell.

Oddly enough, in Sock Heaven, everyone is darned. Their soles have been heeled.

He took you for a sucker once, now he’ll burn you again.

John Kovalesky? That name sounds familiar.

What the hell?

Attributed to Mark Twain and others, “I’d go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.”

You have nothing to worry about. You have two possibilities – either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, you have nothing to worry about. If you are sick, you have two possibilities; either you get better or you don’t. If you get better you have nothing to worry about. If you don’t, you have two possibilities – you die or you don’t. If you don’t die, you have nothing to worry about. If you die, you have two possibilities – going to Heaven or Hell. If you go to Heaven, you have nothing to worry about. If you go to Hell, you’ll be too busy shaking hands with people you know to worry.

I thought I’d find you here.

There are a lot of people you’d be surprised to find “down there.” A lot of people are surprised to find themselves “down there.” There are also a lot of people you’d be surprised to find “up there,” but none of them are surprised to be there.

Sent to hell for wearing those shorts after labor day.

“Eric Stratton, damn glad to meet you.”

Did you stay on as editor of that network news station your entire life?