In the Bleachers by Ben Zaehringer for October 23, 2021

“This has been my TED Talk. And now, your coach will explain the power sweep.”

And now, for my next trick I will turn you into a team.

Despite how emphatically he just said that …

I think he will explain it again … probably at tomorrow’s practice.

Orange? Browns?

Dali would have loved that game of tic tac toe!

All this after he just got done explaining to them – again – that the Xs and Os don’t equal “hugs and kisses”…

“This is a football” -Vince Lombardi

I fear the game plan may be in trouble.

I know it’s fun to poke sport at the stereotype of “dumb jocks”, but think about what it takes to play football at the pro level — or even the college level. These are not dummies! Virtually every player in the NFL is a college graduate, even knowing who’s supposed to be substituting in or out in a given game situation requires a flow chart, to say nothing of knowing who’s supposed to be where and go where and do what on any of several hundred different plays — and that doesn’t even get into the fact that it’s the only sport* there is which requires a separate time to think between plays.

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*I know that sometimes chess matches get covered as if they’re sports, but come on; they’re clearly games.

… and I can erase the Xs and Os. When I do, consider yourself traded.

Joke read in old magazine: Line used to pickup girls at Michigan, “I gom play football fo’ Bo!”