Close to Home by John McPherson for November 18, 2021

That Dalcon one mean little alien. Always has a club. Stay on the other side car Bleeb. Nothing worse that pancakes that aren’t done in the middle. Car seats don’t get that hot.

That seat would leave a lasting impression on your backside!

sausage mom van

Diana Frances Spencer

Cop pulled her over for SIZZLING down the Highway….Hot Pursuit!

Classic Bumper Sticker: “Hug your Kids at Home Belt them in the Car”

Reminds me of a cab ride in NYC. The cabbie was eating a hot lunch. China plate on passengers seat, knife, fork, the real deal. He’d fork a bite at a traffic light and chew till the next one.

The seat looks a little like a George Foreman grill.

Dalcon’s been determined this week. Stay safe, Bleeb!

She can at least serve warm buns.

Can you say, “Distracted Driving?”

Heated seats can be helpful on chilly mornings until the car heater works. Just don’t forget to turn them off before you get injured!

people have wrapped salmon in foil & tossed under the hood while driving, pulled over to eat it.

Well she no longer heres the lambs crying.

Back in the day automobiles had more space available in the engine compartment and in some cases flat surfaces. Some even added small shelves to place aluminium foil wrapped food to cook on a trip. There might even be an old book out there about it.

I know for a fact those heated seats can heat my buns pretty well. Not sure about the hot dog though.

Hello Clarice.Care to heat up any fava beans?

If the seat actually gets hot enough to cook food, she had better get it fixed.

They reach 165° F? Wow! Talk about the hot seat.

Why is she not holding the handle?

Yeah, like that’s sump’n new! I’ve used my two slot toaster AND my coffee maker in my car!

And sometimes, even my blender! Not always though… usually just on Margarita Monday’s.

A cool tip for ya, while you’re driving to work… that little hot plate on the coffee maker that the coffee pot sits on… is perfect for making pancakes.

Don’t try cooking pork chops in the toaster though… that just plain doesn’t work! シ

Please do not try this while driving.

Please don’t cook and drive AND look up recipes at the same time.

“Out of the frying pan…into your lap.”

I rented a car last summer that had air conditioned seats. That was cool.

Imagine what that seat woukd do to your butt ?

Only do this if you have a driverless car…

…talk on her cellphone and balance her bank account at the same time as driving.

Delivering lunch to Hannibal Lecter no doubt…

my 2018 luxury American sedan is the first car that I have had with electrically heated seats. I have refrained from using them and the stereo though to save the generator. My son though doesn’t suffer with pragmatism like that, the other day when he was driving he turned them on; wowser, it was perfect for my sore back!

I guess I’m in a serious mood today – 3 serious posts! Anyway, a co-workers brother, who is a paraplegic, had accidentally turned on his seat warmer and couldn’t feel that it was burning his legs. Left him with some severe burns and scars. Naturally, his lawyer sued the heck out of the automobile manufacturer!

Hmm, not a bad idea! I seem to recall a device to cook on your engine block while driving home!

Now you know some numnuts is really going to try this.

And use the metal part of the seatbelt as a hot spatula

More pork sausages Mom!

I thought there had to be at least one – “Clarrreeese!” I just counted three. That name will never recover

Liver sandwiches on fava bread

I’d heard you could have toasty buns in the winter, but….

Back in the day (80’s) there was a book called “Manifold Destiny: The One! The Only! Guide to Cooking on Your Car Engine!” that gave details on exactly how many miles you had to drive to cook a steak, orange roughy fillet or baked potato…