Strange Brew by John Deering for December 15, 2021

He’s getting a leg up very soon in the relationship.

He’s putting his best foot forward.

You mean “last date”.

Ew!

Nothing like a candlelight massage.

Epstein?

This may seem backward for a first response but would you kiss my…?

If she says yes, you’ve got a “keeper”! But expect to produce a quid-pro-quo, Bubba…

“Oh, I see that it’s getting late and I must be on my way!”

Let me massage it with this candle.

Is she supposed to take off his shoe too? That’s going too far.

Her: And this may seem aggressive for a first date, but how would you like a knuckle sandwich?

Run…

Stick a fork in it.

And in wine fell swoop she vanished.

She might reply with charming smile and smooth low tone -‘Kiss my a**’, but that might be what he is hoping for. Don’t waste the glass of wine throwing it in his face (and white shirt). Take it and walk out with the rest of the bottle to curb your rage.

By a fortunate coincidence, this is how I met my second wife. She was doing foot massage at an outdoor fair. She already had two boyfriends but we did get together after a couple of years. :)

Put your right foot back. I don’t Hokey-Pokey, on a first date….and NEVER in public!

Sure, take off your shoe and hand it to me, then I’ll get started.

It’s forward like I am going forward out of here right now…..

You know what hey say about guys with big feet

Sure, as soon as I get mine back out of your rear end.

If the foot don’t get you then the smell will.

No, no, man! You’re supposed to put your best foot forward!