Pickles by Brian Crane for July 03, 2022

bad news, good news, and more bad news

Some folks are extremely spider phobic. So it’s probably good that they don’t know how many spiders there are all around them all the time.

If flushing doesn’t work, try very hot water.

Sheesh there’s been so many hideous sun spiders in our yard! They’re like 3 inches long and i swear they can run 50mph! They chase my little dachshund around the yard with those horrifying pinchers menacingly up in the air (shudder)

I’d feel the same way as Opal.

Just call the exterminator.

Arachnophobic, eh Opal? (Had to use a new big word)!

How about a tarantula to take your mind off the baby spiders?

In the southern US, we have Wolf spiders that carry their egg sacs on their abdomen. Try not to squeal like a little girl when a thousand baby Wolf spiders run out from under your shoe. So, I scoop mama up and take her to the porch where she and her offspring munch mosquitoes and other pests.

That’s it? No clown?

Reminds me of the Rod Serling episode where the spider keeps getting washed down the drain but keeps coming back larger. Wished I had never seen that as a very young child. Brrr.

In the back of my mind I’m thinking of how beneficial spiders are for the ecosystem, my immediate reaction though is to get a can of Raid!®

I think he is just kidding

People often say, “Don’t kill spiders, they are our friends.” Yeah, well, we aren’t their friends, so squash ’em!

Spiders are competition for me.

Now and then a spider will weave its web across the doorway of my garage service door. As much as I admire its artistry and hard work keeping other insects at bay, getting a faceful of spiderweb is no fun.

Nice going Earl…the joke back fired!

Set it on fire! The only real solution.

Then, I emptied the water heater on them.

You DO know that baby spiders can be washed down the drain too……. right..? -——RIGHT..????

I would refer you to a photo I’ve seen many times of a “giant” spider hanging on a kitchen door in Australia that measured at least two feet across.

Call Ghostbusters and take her to a museum.

Opal should check out the spiders in " The Mist" on Netflix. Hint: it is from a Stephen King story.

Earl’s been binge-watching “Stranger Things”.

I was one of a group of temporary workers who finished our assignment early. The client decided to offer a little extra work for the better workers. I was asked to mop a floor. The floor had a little used floor drain. When some of the mop water went into the drain, dozens of tiny mosquitoes came out of it.

Get your stuff out of the house and set it on fire.

I always close the spout after washing spiders down the drain. That way, the spiders can’t climb up the spout again.

Yup!