In the Bleachers by Ben Zaehringer for June 14, 2022

Commandment one: Thou shall not lie. Or improve your lie.

Commandment Four: Yell “Four” before/as you tee off.

… (lest someone else gets teed off).

Here’s one that’s ignored by most today: “Thou shalt not play on the Sabbath Day.”

You shalt have no other golf before me.

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image or selfies on the course.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy golf in vain.

Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holey.

Honour thy father and the mother in the family tournaments.

Thou shalt not murder other golfers at least.

Thou shalt not commit adultery nor behave childishly.

Thou shalt not steal strokes.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy golfing partner.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s driver.

This is why they spent 40 years in that sand trap of a desert.

Commandment two: no driving your golf cart on the green.

Commandment three: do not lie about your, um, lie.

Commandment five: if you need to have the rest of your foursome sign NDAs before playing with you, you’re most likely breaking the other nine commandments.

What about water hazards?

So there is a god of golf. Would his name be Callaway?

thou shall not yell “Get in the Hole!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZA2mBntrHk

Does anyone ever replace their divots during tournaments? It sure doesn’t look like it to me.

Can I covet thy neighbours golf cart?

I was at a paint-drying and grass-growing expo the other day when a golf match broke out, and everyone got bored and went home.

Thou shalt not act like a cheapskate at the 19th hole. :)

No. Those are the 11th, 12th, and 13th.

Spoken like a true golfer!