In the Bleachers by Ben Zaehringer for June 24, 2022

What about “spit”? “Scratch?” Or are they only for players who went to college?

“bench me or trade me”…Chico Ruiz

A cold bench ain’t no fun either.

YOU will take YOUR seat.

I’ve mentioned this before; but it’s worth repeating, to give hope to all the other benchwarmers out there. Weighing in at only 175 pounds, as an offensive centre on my university football team, I was doomed to a season of benchwarming, and kickoffs. The starter was a giant, voted all-conference centre last season; but fate had other plans. In the first game on the schedule, he broke his leg; and I snapped the ball on every play after that.

Nothing about proper gum chewing or sunflower seed eating/shell spitting?

2. Secretly hope that one of the first string players gets injured…

Step 2: pay attention Step 3: encourage and provide “energy” for the team.Step 4: be available when coach is ready to sub someone in

I had a DOGSO (Denial of a Goal Scoring Opp.) penalty called on me my freshman year and my coach never let me play again.

Reminds me of another very short list I encountered recently:

Why cats will never join a 12-step program:

Step 1: I acknowledge the existence of a higher authority.

There’s more to it then that, occasionally you scoot over so the rest of the bench gets warmed.

Step 2:

Stay.

Good dog!