The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for July 18, 2022

Beside himself

How many sides does a bed have?

Try flipping the mattress, maybe it’s upside down. It will give you some new options to get up on too.

Maybe I’m getting old but I found out quite early that if you run out of the side of the bed, you often wind up face planting into the bedroom wall! Even jumping out of the bed can twist your ankle. Nope I have settled for slowly staggering out of the bed whether the right side or the wrong side. It is much safer for your health.

I’ve been getting out of the top side of the bed all my life. Are there people sleeping underneath their mattresses? Get a blanket people! FYI the top side isn’t right either, I hurt all over too.

There’s an Asian fellow I know who always gets out of the Wong side of the bed.

Yeah, okay Brutus. Meanwhile, back on planet Earth…

And it’s only Monday. Gonna be a long week.

well, as long as you don’t get up from under the bed…

must be one huge bed. Hope he finds the right side soon or he’s gonna be falling out of that wrong side soon.

Brutus has an octagon-shaped love bed??

Time to change beds maybe…..

It might be “who” you are sleeping next too?

For Brutus, there is no right side of the bed.

Not a good sign, Brutus.

You can change the bed…… or job.

If I had his job I’d feel terrible every morning too.

If there were ever a way to drink you coffee be fore you get out of bed, maybe that would help.

Brutus it’s not the side of the bed that matters, it’s what happened in the bed before you got out that makes the difference.

Don’t know whether a doctor would be helpful these days.

If I were Brutus, I would not dress in a while shirt and all before eating. I cannot even imagine what is in the bowl but I bet it can leave a mark. Anyone that groggy is going to dribble or spill a bit.

knowing what kind of day brutus has coming up, i’m surprised he’s able to get out of bed at all…

I knew a lesbian couple who had a king size bed. My girl friend said that they had plenty of roon on it for making out. One of them said not so much as the dog took up the whole center of it1

Perhaps a bed is like a dodecahedron and has 12 sides. If Brutus picks a different side every night for awhile, he’s bound to find the right one.