Brevity by Dan Thompson for August 29, 2022

Salty

Spear me your rude comments before I cuke.

VOMITROCIOUS!

What’s the big dill?

You offer to serve them when they’re already half pickled; you gotta expect that they’ll end up too juiced to have any taste.

They’re not exactly sweet pickles when they’re in their cups, and they can’t drive home, so you’ll have to put them up.

To cap it off, they left the door ajar…

Here come some more!

I guess that might be good for you, though…

I thought maybe you were in a pickle, but not if brine is your bread and butter.

Good thing the Mrs. is home with the kids. While the wife, sweet thing that she is, can handle this, I would hate for the gherkins to see this.

Gives everything the cold refrigerator pickle treatment.

I was in Manaus, Brazil at a buffet where pickles were being served. The pickles had been brined in the same brine previously used to brine olives. This made the pickles taste like olives. I thought they were delicious, but then I really like olives (much to my cardiologists displeasure so I don’t eat many anymore); my traveling companions weren’t as enamored as I was…pagans.

you’re gherkin my chain again

ah, for the days of brine and rosés…