In the Bleachers by Ben Zaehringer for August 29, 2022

Opposable hooves. Sayonara, hunters.

It looks like the deer ordered and got the deluxe Acme Cumulonimbus Cloud – complete with Anvil Head.

DON’T SHOOT!!

Caution, the next sound you hear may be an anvil landing on your head!!!

When out in the field, always be alert to your surroundings……don’t jump the gun…..

Why’s it always Dewey?

I don’t know, that stuff never works for Wile E. Coyote. :-)

SPLAT!

Definitely an elk. They’re the only member of the Cervidae big enough to lift a large anvil by themselves.

Research shows that the smaller white-tailed deer prefers to drop pianos, not anvils, and they usually work together to set up the trap. One acts as the lure and distraction, and three or four lift the piano. The really inventive herds will bring along a squirrel, to play a few bars of ominous music and then leap off the keyboard to safety just before the piano drops.

The Florida key deer is too small to manage either a piano or an anvil. They commonly make use of the coconuts which grow on the local palm trees.

Bears? You know that bears climb trees really well, right? And, you know the rhetorical question about what bears do in the woods, right? Put ‘em together, and figure out what happens when a hunter passes through the woods where the bears are waiting for him. It’s perhaps the least dignified way to die known to modern science.

That’s North American bears, of course. The Australian drop bear has an entirely different attack strategy, but it’s a koala rather than a true bear.

Acme sold out of pianos and safes?

“I don’t know Huey. Seems hard to do without opposable hoofs. And what happened to Lewie?”

Not any more.

Looks like a lose/lose scenario to me…..

We have ourselves a stand off.

Awesome far side look.

Did that anvil come from Acme? If it did it’ll fall on the buck