Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for October 26, 2022

Are we having a drill or not? When the drill begins classrooms go into lockdown mode. You do not continue classes as usual.

Hand gestures! That means that Fistpump Man was the next step in the evolution of Australopithecus!

Asked my wife, who’s taught in multiple districts over the last few years, and she says (following the discussion yesterday) that while it’s standard practice in our area for the staff to be informed ahead of time that a shooter drill’s going to happen, it is NOT the practice for the loudspeakers to announce that it IS a drill instead of the real thing. She also verified that realism effects such as sounds of explosions and automatic fire, smoke, and “bloodied” actors have been used.

P2: Another teacher out of Central Casting. To quote the line in Breakfast Club, “Does Barry Manilow know you’re borrowing his wardrobe?” Meanwhile, Keri impersonates cigar store Indian’s “hand gesture” to show off her knockoff jewelry. UGH! Is Gil going to save Milford by tackling a real shooter?

P2.5 “No, it was popcorn. Heaps and heaps of by fluffy, buttery Orville Redenbacher Popcorn!”

Get some of your own jewelry, Kerry! Sooner or later BHHLHM is going to notice that some of his goes missing every time you stop by to see Pedro.

It’s a good thing Jami disappeared again and missing this ordeal. Life in a Southeast Asian sweatshop is brutal, but at least they leave you with enough life to work again tomorrow.

There are probably billions of people alive right now that can’t speak English. How do they communicate?

P3.5- After suffering a mild case of EES, Mr. Redenbacher hears those dreaded seven words every GT character every fears that they will be trapped in purgatory for a season. Unfortunately, new writer Hank could keep this going all school year. And then some.

P 2.5: Hand gestures? I got a hand gesture for you right here.

P2: Henry; When editing this for “Coach of the Year”, please ensure Orville Redenbacher is wearing a bow tie as opposed to the current neck tie.

So Jim Morrison bursts into the room in p3?

Lord knows the only way to communicate verbally is through the English language.

Meanwhile, Laurel and Hardy wind up the six-foot tall Toy Soldiers and set them loose on the Boogie men.

and here I thought this was going to be an encouragement for the hearing public to learn AmSLan

Hand gestures were the lingua franca of the Plains Indians. Someone who saw two practiced users said it was like watching birds fluttering.

Keri wears so much jewelry that she would probably tip the scale at around 200 lbs

Keri pulls the gun she has taped under her desk and starts shooting

Haha…Dr. Orville calls on Keri because she’s the only in the class one payin’ attention

…and it looks like some of the class comedians got to the chalkboard when doc wasn’t looking

This is SO dumb!

Thanks to everyone who implanted that godforsaken “chicken fat” song in my head two days ago. I’m tempted to go watch a “kars 4 kids” commercial to force it out, but it’s a slippery slope.

Republican Roulette: when you send your kids to school.

I never knew that the Crazy Hand Jive song was about Australopithecus.

We need Kool-Aid Man to bust through the wall so that they can escape. Hey, Kool-Aid!

P-4: OK, Dr. Pearl, everyone has detention. We get it.

Okay, today’s episode of Mopped Up Thorp is now online. If you saw an episode of Sign Man and Fistpump Man earlier today, that was a goof up on my part and was removed. It will be posted again for good tomorrow. I had scheduled that last night to be posted on a delay, and thought today’s Gil Thorp was going to be grim, but I had skipped ahead a day accidentally.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

So if this is NOT really a drill, then is the shooter Jami or Tobias, and why?

No need to worry! This unit just got back from training in Uvalde.