The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for October 26, 2022

The big girl part is believable at least

And a lot of things she won’t mention.

Plus those pumpkin spice’s will make you bigger!

Unfortunately Gladys’ pumpkin spice has expired.

98% water and a couple pounds of chemicals.

When did the pumpkin spice thing get started?

I saw a funny yesterday, pumpkin spice motor oil

I don’t know what a boy is made out of, but I diffidently don’t want to know what a man is made out of. :p

That seems simple enough – but it’s a latte to take in.

The trouble is, Gladys, I think you’re way beyond being just a big girl. You’re a giant woman, in more ways than one.

Most men will stick with spiced rum.

… and the double shot.

Unless it’s Lizzo. Then it’s just gravy and cheese.

I was made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails when I was a boy. My mom sewed cross stitch pictures of both sayings, now hanging above my workbench.

And guys just love you both because of it….

Gladys, if it wasn’t for all of that Pumpkin combined with the sugar and spice, then maybe, just maybe you wouldn’t be such a big girl.

NOT!

Well okay, but there seems to be an acceptation. Mother Gargle was made from sour grapes. (wasn’t my first thought, but I’ll settle for that)

Gladys is happy. Too bad that drink wouldn’t work on mama.

If sugar and spice and everything is what little girls are made of, how do you explain Hurricane Hattie?

Sounds good, too. Need more of it.

Gladys is definitely in her happy place. Enjoy it now before Mama comes over to ruin everyone’s day!

Not this girl. ‘Course, I’m not as big as she is.

Can’t stand that crap.

Gladys, if you like it, you’re more than welcome to my part of it!

Hear, hear!!!

That’s enough to put you off big girls for life