Pluggers by Rick McKee for November 07, 2022

I… am worried for her safety now…

ay-yi-yi… she needs to have that professionally looked at

The doctor said, just to be vague

“It isn’t the bubonic plague”

With all the fights between Reds and Blues in every state, soon most of the population will be filled with bruises——-and every state will become Purple!

If I bump I ask the wife to remind me later when I discover the purple elbow or shin bone and get all worried. Pluggers are fragile……and forgetful.

I was a rough-and-tumble kid, so I got bruised a lot. In order to get me to settle down, my mother told me if a person got too bruises he would die. That scared be a bit, so every so often I would count my bruises and ask, seriously, “Mom, will I die with this many?”

Many, many years later I’m back to counting my bruises — but I’m no longer rough (although I sometimes take a mild tumble), so where are they coming from? Childhood creeps back slowly.

It’s the blood thinners.

Pluggers are happy to let their S&M freak flag fly.

I’m about to get a new crop of purple patches. Gotta replace some broken studs on the exhaust manifold of my truck.

I bruise at the “drop of a hat” any more. Wife will ask me “where-ed you get that bruise from” and I have say beats me".

i’m 70, i’ve never had bruises like that

That looks serious.

I push wheelchairs into a vehicle. Many times I rub my arms against the side or doorways and get blood bruises. THEN I need to be careful not to tear them. Yep! Skin gets thinner as we age.

That.. needs a professional look.

Get your prescriptions reviewed.

Yes, coumadin arms.

One morning a couple of weeks ago, my 89yo mom woke up with a truly spectacular black eye & not the slightest clue how she got it. (She doesn’t take any heavy-duty blood thinners, just a daily baby aspirin.) I told her that if anyone mentioned her shiner, she should tell them: “You should see the other guy!”

wife says you’ve been looking

serious corticosteroids going on here… Whew.

I call mine “urban camouflage”.

My FiL used to call them “Senior Tattoos”, now I understand why!

I MUST be a plugger……

Second week of October I had jury duty starting on Tuesday (had delayed it and put it that week as there were only 4 business days). I took a shower the night before and noticed that the heel area of my left foot was purple and blue as if I had hit terribly hard. I did not remember hitting it – but that does not really mean anything. I had been having trouble with my left leg from a severe leg cramp about 2 weeks before (I get them often since I was in high school and don’t worry about them other than the pain.) I had read since having it that a blood clot in the leg could feel like a muscle cramp – so when I saw my ankle I was concerned. ( I tend to get dressed in half darkness and without my eyeglasses on so would not have noticed it if I had not taken the shower – something we tend to do less often since staying in the house almost all the time now.

So the next morning I called the court and explained that I had a medical problem. They said fine – send a doctor’s note with your paperwork – did not even ask my name. (Doctor’s note – is this school?) Husband called the doctor and he took that afternoon.

Doctor did not think it serious or anything to worry about, but said I should have leg scanned to be sure. The lab fit me in a couple of hours later – no problem no blockages. (And it was a much more pleasant and aimed at me being comfortable than the doctor’s office my mom goes to and he has someone do these scans there as she has had clots – they get upset and annoyed as 94yo mom has much trouble transferring to and back from their table from her wheelchair as it too high for her – when she is there for trouble with her legs! )

C’mon, Mr. McKee! You’re slippin’ fast with subject matter lately, you can do better!

(Here’s a hint: Try going back to the “Original-Pluggers” format, of tools, hardware, and—-you know—-humorous things that we still do, accidental or not!)

Yeah, I already know what opinions are like. Everyone’s got one. But I’ve been called-worse before, and lived to opine-another day thus-far…